Bad hire jobs

I'm looking for a talented designer to create a logo for my comedy podcast. The theme of the podcast is primarily comedy, and the logo should reflect that. I would like something cartoonish, kinda like Distractible or Bad Friends like cartoonish but still kinda realism Key Requirements: - I envision the logo in pastel shades. - The design should be a combination of text and image. The text should be easy to read and the image should be related to comedy. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Graphic design with a strong portfolio of logo design work. - Understanding of comedy and how to visually represent it. - Proficiency in creating logos that work well in pastel shades and include both text and image. Please include samples of your previous logo design work in your b...

I need wedding photos edited, including retouching and background changes, using Photoshop. I have a batch of photos initially, so I'll need to see a sample of your work first. After that, if I'm satisfied, there will be more work, and, of course, payment for your services. & And I also want to edit the wedding video. If you know video editing then please send a sample.

...query() to rank the documents for boolean model. However, do not delete any of the existing functions which may lead to your code not running successfully. 4 What should I submit? Files to be submitted. 1. A zip file with only code, no indexes 2. A : Document your findings in the report. You should analyze how each of the 4 vector based notations work on the dataset, why they give good/bad results, etc, how much time they take for ranking each query, and how do they compare to boolean retrieval models. Checklist for zip file. 1. : This is the python code that contains your implementation. Every submission file should call 2 functions in its main function: index("s2/") rank_and_evaluate("s2/", "s2/", "s2/") 2. : You may include extra

are down and looking bad. We need someone to fix both rightnow for a milestone fee of 30 USD.

I’m looking for a skilled copywriting freelancer to help me earn some money through my writing and editing abilities. As a copywriter, your primary task would be to compose persuasive, engaging, and compelling content that drives action. This can range from creating catchy taglines, writing content for marketing materials, web pages or emails, to crafting persuasive sales pitches. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Previous experience in copywriting is a must, preferably in a freelance capacity. - Strong understanding of advertising principles and branding. - Exceptional written communication skills. - Proven ability to understand and write for different audiences. - A track record of delivering high-quality content within deadlines. Your responsibilities will include: - Understandin...

We are a startup that is training AI algorithms f...want a logo that says danger, intelligence, sophistication, and cool. As the person in charge of the logo, I've decided that I'd like a dark red on gunmetal grey color scheme, with black and white as additional colors for things like text. We are all gamers, so we're kind of going for a vibe like the corpos from Cyberpunk 2077. I've drawn an idea that crossed my mind and attached it. I am a very bad artist and drew this very quickly in Paint, but I hope the professional artists out there can see the idea that I was going for. However, if you have your own ideas that fit the description above, don't hesitate to share them! We are programmers and engineers, not artists. We will pay well for good work and un...

Hi Daniel, I came across your profile and I have a project for you if interested. We're a translation company from Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Our client has pre-translated a file in Spanish, but not by a native speaker. We think they used AI but the quality isn't bad, probably because it contains mostly short sentences. We need this file to be proofread, but there's quite a lot of repetitions in the content, so use of a CAT will be important (from Spanish to Spanish ). We have the English file as well of course, so you can compare it to English, but using the CAT ES to ES will enable you to use translation memory so you can avoid having to check and change many repeating lines. It's for Spanish for Spain, it's 6736 words of which 4872 unique and we'd l...

My primary concern with our current SEO blogs is rampant misspelling. This error predominantly appears within the body of the posts, which brings about a negative image for the company. I want all the blogs about our company created by the seo hire taken down. Her work has made us look so bad. At the time I didn't know of these things now we are finding they are all over Google first searches and just need taken down

... but you must be clever and eager to learn. No. I am *not* being charitable. I am being practical. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than someone experienced but is not very intelligent and/or does not solve problems scientifically. Would I hire an Isaac Newton or an Albert Einstein even if he had no programming experience? Of course I would. ✻ TESTS ✻ You must pass several difficult logic tests to work with me. The first logic test you complete for me will be an unpaid logic test. In other words, I would not pay you any money whatsoever if you were to pass the first logic test. However, I would pay you $25 (Twe...

When I open the PDF, it doesn't show me the data on the second page. By changing the code (I provide pictures), it shows the data, but the graphics are bad. The project is small and simple. An opportunity for beginners. I pay max $5 and give a good review. Ideal opportunity for new freelancers.

I am searching for skilled web developers to craft an elegant, easy-to-navigate online platform for dress rentals. Features the Online Booking System must incorporate: - Calendar Availability: Customers should see real-time dress availability. - Reservation Management: A streamlined system for tracking and managing dress bookings. - Payment Processing: Reliable, secure processing of customer payments. During the booking process, we need an efficient way to collect key customer details including: - Name - Email - Phone number - Residential Address Managing our dress inventory is crucial and we prefer to handle this manually. Therefore, the system should provide a straightforward means to manually update stock levels. Ideal freelance applicants would have a portfolio showcasing similar...

Hi, I have my website that is an old domain. I used to be in the top five on local search before the COVID. Now I have almost no search traffic No alert from google in the search consol I have quiet some content on the website. The website is fast. Some time ago bad SEO guy did some bad links that I removed throught the search console Somebody has been doing some linking since 8 month and I'm still very low. I'm looking for someone who can tell me what could be fixed, or if I need to change domain name... Thanks

Hello We're currently on the lookout for dedicated virtual assistants to join our team. (full-time or part-time) Here's a brief overview of the responsibilities: 1. App Testing: Your role will involve evaluating and testing software applications to ensure functionality and stability. Reporting any bugs or issues encountered during testing is crucial for improving the user experience. 2. Writing App Reviews/Demo Manuals: You'll be tasked with crafting insightful app reviews and creating user-friendly demo manuals to guide users through the application. 3. Autoresponder Campaigns: Proficiency in creating autoresponder campaigns using platforms such as Aweber, GetResponse, ConvertKit, or Keap is essential. Customizing flows tailored to specific business needs will be part ...

Hello! I need WordPress developer who can fix Core Web Vitals issues in Google Search Console and make my all URLS in good. I see most issues are related to INP, and LCP. My site is WooCommerce and experiencing issues related to lower speed as well. I want you to implement proper caching, image optimization, scri...polylang multidomain and fonts did't load in secondary domain. And getting stange 404 errors from time to time until we reset permalinks, I guess because of premmerce. I need serious WordPress developer who have coding knowledge of HTML, CSS, JS and PHP. Note: This job is not for someone who just install plugin and says deal. Please don't apply if you are from India, Pakistan or Bangladesh as I had bad experience working with them in past. And new freelance...

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... but you must be clever and eager to learn. No. I am *not* being charitable. I am being practical. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than someone experienced but is not very intelligent and/or does not solve problems scientifically. Would I hire an Isaac Newton or an Albert Einstein even if he had no programming experience? Of course I would. ✻ TESTS ✻ You must pass several difficult logic tests to work with me. The first logic test you complete for me will be an unpaid logic test. In other words, I would not pay you any money whatsoever if you were to pass the first logic test. However, I would pay you $25 (Twe...

...real gun during an electronic game and using a weapon in the game - The child again had a problem with a friend while playing with his friends. He brought his father's weapon to scare his friend, but a bullet went out and one of the children was killed. - After the child is taken to prison and spends some time there - In prison makes many bad friends in prison - After go out prison He is separated from school and friends. - After go out prison He mixes with bad friends that know him in prison. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Experience with 2D animation, particularly in a cartoonish style - Ability to tell a story through animation - Creativity and a keen eye for detail The video will not require any voice-overs, so the animations should be able to convey the messag...

...long-term, full-service partner to help manage and help grow. Pixels and google conversions must be corrected first. We have called FB and they say call shopify and vice- versa. We have a strong graphics and content team and can help assist in ad building. I have attached our recent Seo. We were told that our indexing should be much higher, we do not know what we have done wrong. (this could be bad, backlinking through an app called Search Pie) I wanted to make sure that this post was as detailed as possible to try and find the right partner with a proven track record, looking for establish long, term relationship. We would be interested in starting with an hourly and then paying on a commission structure once the site is where it is supposed to be SEO wise but also open to...

I'm looking for a Shopify expert who can assist in cleaning up and fixing some specific issues with my Shopify coding. I'm experiencing functionality errors which are affecting user experience and also noticed that some URL links are poor which is affecting my Google ads. The ideal candidate should have the following skills: - Proficiency in Shopify coding, particularly in identifying and resolving functionality issues - Experience in addressing URL link problems and their impacts on Google ads - A good understand of web analytics and SEO would be beneficial Key responsibilities include: - Review and clean-up of existing Shopify code - Identify and fix functionality errors - Resolve broken URL links to improve Google ads performance After investigating my landing pages, Goo...

... but you must be clever and eager to learn. No. I am *not* being charitable. I am being practical. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than someone experienced but is not very intelligent and/or does not solve problems scientifically. Would I hire an Isaac Newton or an Albert Einstein even if he had no programming experience? Of course I would. ✻ TESTS ✻ You must pass several difficult logic tests to work with me. The first logic test you complete for me will be an unpaid logic test. In other words, I would not pay you any money whatsoever if you were to pass the first logic test. However, I would pay you $25 (Twe...

I prefer to have this ready for tommorow afternoon NY time (4PM). Hi, I need an Ad design for a print magazine. Text can be find below Images are in the zipfolder. I ATTACHED A FILE WHERE I MADE A BAD DESIGN JUST SO YOU CAN SEE THE MAIN LAYOUT IDEA FOR THE TOP BUT EACH ELEMENT OF THE BOTTOM NEEDS TO BE DESIGNED NICELY ALONE WITH THE TOP. Each of the elements need to be beautified. An important part of the ad is the section where it says to call a number to order (The real number will be provided to the winner. I will need the source file as well. No images of people should be used in design. Size: "2.5 inches Wide and "10.3 inches tall. TEXT: BUILD A..... Electric Swing Ride DIY Kit 289 pieces includes light, sound & movement. Recommended for: Boys Model # E...

I'm seeking a talented French woman singer, who specializes in pop music, for a romantic and gentle project. The lyrics for the song are already in place. This french singer must be able to performing an a cappella rendition of a song approximately 4 minutes long. The lyrics of the song, which will be provided as a reference, should be reproduced as faithfully as possible, if not perfectly, matching the original vocals like a dubbing, adhering to all the notes and pauses. The request for such a service stems from the fact that the original voice exhibits some flaws in articulation. Key requirements: - Proficient in singing in French (accent parisien). - Specializes in pop music. - Comfortable with performing in a romantic and gentle style. If you believe you are the right fit for...

My MySQL server is facing issues like high CPU usage and slow queries due to an incorrect configuration. I need a professional who can help me optimize my MySQL server by fixing the file and optimizing all bad queries to reduce the high CPU usage and improve the query speed. Key Responsibilities: - Review and modify the file to optimize the server configuration - Identify and optimize all bad queries to improve query speed - Reduce high CPU usage by fine-tuning the server - Provide a detailed report on the changes made and their impact Access: - You will be provided with AnyDesk access to the server for optimization. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in MySQL server optimization - Strong knowledge of query optimization techniques - Familiarity with the

...printing labels. So you need to adjust the 16 design to fit into those 8 labels which means the total variation and the files you will be sending me is 128 .ai files (16 design x 8 labels = 128 ai files). You are required to complete this project within the time and cost you originally gave in the quote . There is no room later you change the deadline or ask for more money etc. To avoid dispute and bad review feeback, please read carefully. We want to establish long term relationship. It is more important you can delivery good quality of work on time, not about you can place lower bid but end up you can't finish it the completion time and work you committed, so please give us the quote you are comfortable, and you did read carefully the spec and understand it all. let me ...

My MySQL server is facing issues like high CPU usage and slow queries due to an incorrect configuration. I need a professional who can help me optimize my MySQL server by fixing the file and optimizing all bad queries to reduce the high CPU usage and improve the query speed. Key Responsibilities: - Review and modify the file to optimize the server configuration - Identify and optimize all bad queries to improve query speed - Reduce high CPU usage by fine-tuning the server - Provide a detailed report on the changes made and their impact Access: - You will be provided with AnyDesk access to the server for optimization. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in MySQL server optimization - Strong knowledge of query optimization techniques - Familiarity with the

... but you must be clever and eager to learn. No. I am *not* being charitable. I am being practical. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than someone experienced but is not very intelligent and/or does not solve problems scientifically. Would I hire an Isaac Newton or an Albert Einstein even if he had no programming experience? Of course I would. ✻ TESTS ✻ You must pass several difficult logic tests to work with me. The first logic test you complete for me will be an unpaid logic test. In other words, I would not pay you any money whatsoever if you were to pass the first logic test. However, I would pay you $25 (Twe...

We are a fashion brand. Looking to hire a instagram influencer who can make reels with our fashion products and help us to boost our website traffic and sales.

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Hello, Please review the attachment carefully Please read and check before bid

Hi There I'm looking for making predictive and descriptive and explorative elements with tableau or Power BI Please check attachment before bid Thank you

We have core PHP web app with some bad quality of code so we plan to rebuild with laravel using better interface and better functionality we will select lower bid thanks

I am seeking a professional video producer to create a concise, engaging orientation video for new employees. The video should be under 3 minutes in length and will be focused on introducing our company culture, as well as providing necessary information regarding company supplies and instructions for timesheet and payroll. - I have a sample of an old video that can be used as a guide Key Responsibilities: - Produce a high-quality, under 3 minutes video oriented for new hires - Clearly introduce our company - Provide detailed instructions for company supplies, timesheet, and payroll Ideal Skills and Experience: - Previous experience in producing orientation or training videos - Strong understanding of company culture and effective communication - Video editing expertise to create an e...

The pay rate is $5 per haiku that I u...hear. A couple of amateur examples: You are bad at sex Porn is not education Ask me what I like He does not text you Because he does not want to Don't complicate truth I am looking for haiku that are humorous in their simple truth. (They are actually only funny if you are not the receipient). They should not be malicious and they should not be so softened that the brutal truth is obscured. They should not have flowery poetic language. Some possible subjects are always being late, bad breath, always talking about yourself, being a bad listener, looking at your phone and ignoring people, breaking up with a romantic partner, breaking up with a friend, talking down to people, etc. I will have a more comprehensive list of s...

You must be at least 16 years old and live in Eastern Europe or Latin America. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than someone experienced but is not very intelligent and/or does not solve problems scientifically. Would I hire an Isaac Newton or an Albert Einstein even if he had no programming experience? Of course I would. ✻ NO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED ✻ You do not need any experience whatsoever, but you must be clever and eager to learn. No. I am *not* being charitable. I am being practical. ✻ TESTS ✻ You must pass several difficult logic tests to work with me. The first logic test you complete for me will be an unp...

...have permission from that site owner) Any bids received in the first 15 minutes will not be reviewed. It will take you at least that long to review to understand what needs to be implemented The site MUST be WCAG 2.2 Level AA compliant. No deviations. I will help you by doing an audit, but you must at least educate yourself on what is required in these guidelines to not make bad decisions. For example, everything must be keyboard accessible, there can't be motion that lasts over five seconds, and color choices are slightly restricted (these are just a few examples) Key Features and Requirements: - The website must include a well-integrated, user-friendly quiz with engaging questions and interactive elements. - The main purpose of the quiz is to capture participants&#...

Hi HIRE SEO EXPERTS, I noticed your profile and would like to offer you my project. We can discuss any details over chat.

okay hello here, l know app devepers are highly priced! But the thing is here: My experience in the past was bad with deliver and functionality of my requesteds app's So l will make a milestone of 10 usd and not release until l can see if the Bot is functional My app is "called" XM ... XM trading app l need a bot to get money , so maybe you can get your hands into work and copy some codes from bots and make it easier ... just make it working on MTS5 MTS4 trading trading platform, the prefered for me is XM, could be another trading app but in my past l've been used and l've been maded a lot money, all by my self studing market businisess... right know l want a bot for like an example with a deposit of 100 usd , start making like 1 , 2 ... 10 usd daily wi...

Hi I think i have a bad from my email address. I host at "hobohost" so maybe that's the problem. Need to fix the issue to make my emails deliverable to all email clients.

1 month SEO

...create a basic consultancy website for Industry and software topics. Important: - Please just continue if your bid is between $100 and $125 for implementing all the tasts described in this project. - I have very little time and usually cannot hang often at computer replying chat questions, so i am therefore expecting a selfdriven freelancer that can find his own answers. - As I already had some bad experiences with some professionals after having awarded them a project, I am herby requesting you to invest 1h of your time in providing me an advance of what your solution with my content would look like. Just post me here the link of the draft website so that I can check it. If I see the advance of a nice job (NOT the finished project!) then I will award you the project. - All the...

Hello, I would like some more Rebel Riders motorcycle t shirt designs. I need some for the sayings: "Keep It Twisted" (skeleton hand on a throttle) "Good Girls Sit, Bad B*tches Ride" "Motorcycles & Mascara" "Life Behind Bars" a t shirt that says "BOOBS Two of My Favorite Things" with a side view of a motorcycle in the middle of the word so that the motorcycle wheels make up the "OO" So it would say "B(motorcycle)BS - Two of my favorite things" 300dpi, 45lpi, 12.5 in wide

Hey there! I'm looking for s...that can identify regular website traffic from bot traffic using two datasets. I have two datasets in the form of JSON array with user analytics (with each dataset containing about 10,000 entries for each.) I prefer to use almost all possible features from these datasets, except confidence feature which can be disregarded. (Please check the dataset so you can get an idea) Datasets: Good Dataset Bad Dataset I have attached a sample from both so you can see. (In this sample, I only have one entry for you from each dataset.) Deliverables: Well documented Jupyter File Notebook (With clear steps, some data visualisation, testing, and also model should be saved in the end) Minimum Accuracy should be at least 90%. Deadline : 5th of May Max Budget...

As a part of our team, you will be responsible for creating designs that are not only visually appealing but also have a strong impact on our target audience. Key Responsibilities: - Logo Design: We're looking for an abstract style for our brand. Your design should be unique, memorable, and versatile across different platforms. - Marketing Materials Design: You will be responsible for creating a variety of marketing materials, such as brochures, flyers, and social media content. Your designs should be eye-catching, on-brand, and convey our message effectively. - Website Design: You will play a crucial role in the design of our website. Your designs should be user-friendly, attractive, and in line with our brand identity. Your portfolio will be an important factor in our decision-...

I'm looking to data scrape the price of popular electronics across different retailers and online marketplaces in Australia. Some of these Australian websites/competitors include: - - - - - There is also...bigger marketplace giants such as , facebook marketplace (AU) and even amazon. If not possible, we can discuss getting data through external API tools such as or The end goal for collecting this data is to input all this information into our website and creating AI personalised pricing tools. So we can let the customer know what a good bargain price is, what a bad price to sell is, and other important decisions.

I am currently in need of a skilled attorney, preferably with experience in fam...addresses they will not send back an error message. But I owned a domain that I had email at and shut the server down long ago. If you message an un-hosted domain, it will send an "undeliverable" message in return. So by inference her lawyer incorrectly assumed that if he sent an email to one email address and it does not send an error then that was okay, when compared to the other that sent back a bad email or does not exist. That is flawed, they are assuming, that I would have read it?????? I get a ton of spam, that is why i moved to gmail. They also said they attempted to reach my previous lawyer and that he did not return a call. I called, left a message, and he replied the next day. P...

I need to make a song cover with a unique idea, the concept of the theme is an arid desert land with details on the sides where a man's boot like the one in the example photo is shown in the center and at the same time you can see his footprint on the ground with the title of the song "No Mastico Culebras" it means I don't hang with bad people and snakes" so all the concept is like the photo example called "sunset-mountain" If you pay attention to the examples, it is a unique and elegant detail that I am looking for and put together the idea based on the photos. Example of finished design retouch:

For this project i want to get the designs for the back of our hoodies. Now I have everything available, but in bad image quality and only in sketch. Here i need a creative freelancer that can finetune the idea and deliver the needed formats for prints. So here i expect to receive: 1) the designs in png format + svg format. The text part will be easy, but the illustration will need to be redrawn exactly the same and in vector. Here below in small below right we should add the initial: XT. 2) Next to this I also would like to receive the logo in svg format and in bigger png format then it is now. 3) The actual Figma designs should also be should be shared afterwards The purpose is to get it all sharp and detailed, so it can be printed on the hoodies. Thanks in advance and please r...

I'm in need of a skilled programmer who can enhance my current PHP script to embed it into my Wordpress theme. I have a basic understanding of php and sql databases but only enough to read and understand code not really create it. i’ve used chat GPT to create a very basic script and it’s not done a bad job however it’s unfinished. I can share my Chat GPT log so you can see the files created and understand the progress. It’s a simple script and most of the code is created. I need someone who can edit the code and fix the functionality. Here is what i was creating: The project is a web-based system for business reviews. It allows businesses to collect customer feedback through a simple landing page with star ratings and additional review links for e...