screwcops.com: make urls google friendly

okay this is what i'm trying to do go from this [login to view URL];copstories=full&story=239&type=stories To: [login to view URL] this shouldn't be that hard to do because the whole address thing is controlled by [login to view URL] i use the switch statment example: case 'copstories': include("$siteurl/includes/copstories/copstories.txt"); break; case 'cop': include("$siteurl/includes/copstories/cop.txt"); break; case 'full': include("$siteurl/includes/copstories/full.txt"); break; also i need the title fixed when users login it displays [login to view URL]: Cop Police Jokes Stories News Advice : RACIAL PROFILING: and when they are not it displays ScrewCops: Cop Stories : RACIAL PROFILING: i want it to display ScrewCops: Cop Stories : RACIAL PROFILING: for everyone these are only examples i need the url fixed for the whole site jokes/advice/news/register etc basically the whole site is going to use the title stored in mysql for the most type as the url also i need this job to be completed by tuesday and if i see any error a week later from your modifcations you are required to fix it.