10347 Dumpalink Clone / Humor Site

I need basically a full humor site with an appealing design for funny dump . com. (includes css and php) Basically modified clones of: ([login to view URL], [login to view URL], [login to view URL], [login to view URL], ...)with all the features such as RSS, Search, Categories, Rating, Comments system, User logins, traffic trade system, image/video/flash posting, rating system, ETC... NOTE: Also must have something that will automatically grab videos from [login to view URL] daily with the category, thumbnail, title, and comments and post them. (May require a cron job) a.k.a. auto-update Also need a small admin panel with all the neccessary features such as editing, adding, removing, etc. NOTE: The code MUST be fully optimized, if it means indexing tables, optimizing sql queries, etc. MUST be clean. No "Select *" SQL Queries. This script must be able to withstand xxx,xxx uniques daily and be server friendly. The more features the better. MUST be available for future paid work on the code. (new things added, etc.) Feel free to use a customized existing system or opensource cms, but remember my note about script SPEED. I want a UNIQUE design for my site also. Remember design also counts! Should look like a humor website!