Please need quality jokes jobs

1.I would like no less then 90-100 on-page speed insights for desktop and mobile. 2. Book now Contact form submission under 10 seconds. 3. Receive emails once the booking form has been completed. 4. Check & provide a report that all coding has been done correctly on the website. 5. Fix all errors in the attached GT Metrix report Please provide me with exactly how you will achieve these 5 points as generic messages regarding this job will not be awarded. Payment will be broken up into 3 milestones points 1-2, 3-4, 5 Do not apply if you cannot achieve my work standards.

I'm looking for an experienced SEO professional to help me boost my technology website's search engine rankings through high-quality backlinks. Ideal candidate should have: - Proven experience in building high-quality backlinks - A solid understanding of SEO best practices - Experience in the technology industry (a plus, but not mandatory) - Ability to target specific audiences effectively I have a target audience in mind and I hope to increase visibility among this group. The backlinks need to be from authentic, high authority websites in order to improve my search engine rankings.

I'm looking for a talented writer who can help me create a compelling procurement proposal for health services within the Federal Government. Ideal candidate: - Have experience in public procurement with the NIH. - Understand the dynamics of contract opportunities, with an emphasis on RFPs. - Demonstrate a proven track record in writing proposals that have led to winning contracts Please include samples of your previous work in your bid. This will give me a clear picture of your capabilities and increase your chance of being selected. Remember, I'm mainly interested in your ability to write proposals. I look forward to your bid.

WeI have recently completed a cross-platform app companion for a exciting new toy and I'm in need of comprehensive testing. I'm searching for an experienced app tester who can carry out thorough checks on all aspects of the app. The key functionalities needing testing are gameplay mechanics, graphics and visuals, and the multiplayer functionality. - Gameplay Mechanics: The tester should be capable of identifying any glitches or issues that may hamper the gameplay experience. They should ideally have a gaming background or extensive experience in testing game mechanics. - Graphics and Visuals: The scope of testing also includes checking the graphical output of the game. Testers with an eye for detail and a keen sense of aesthetics would be a great fit. - Multiplayer F...

I need a highly skilled Facebook Ads professional to create and management a campaign that is focused on generating leads from individuals aged 25-45 years. Key Responsibilities: - Develop an effective, lead generating Facebook Ads campaign - Regular management and monitoring of the campaign - Making adjustments as needed for maximum results Ideal Candidate: - Experience with Facebook Ads, especially with lead generation - Understanding advertising to a 25-45 age group bracket - Proficient in tracking and measuring campaign success.

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I'm seeking a skilled Autocad designer to produce 7 realistic images of prismatic battery modules. The images should: - Be highly detailed with textures and materials - Present the modules from a disected view Ideal candidates should have experience in creating technically detailed images, and have a strong grasp of Autocad's capabilities. Previous experience in designing battery modules or similar technical components would be a major asset.

...manager of a thriving ecommerce that sells sleep products, I'm looking for a creative professional who can produce quality images and videos of beds. These assets will play vital roles in enhancing product/service descriptions, showcasing USPs, and providing visual instructions/tutorials. Key Responsibilities: - Develop custom images that improve the comprehension of our product and service descriptions - Produce authentic videos showcasing the product - Design engaging visual instructions/tutorials Ideal Skills & Experience: - Studies related to design and images/video making - Strong creativity and attention to detail - Able to meet deadlines and adjust to feedback. Please note the project needs to be completed within the next 2 months. I look forward to e...

I am on the lookout for Romanian-speaking transcribers to contribute to a transcription annotation project. It will be your responsibility to correct transcription errors produced by a machine, ensuring the accuracy of dialogue and emotions, based on the speaker's original words. Key Responsibilities: - Check and rectify transcription quality - Preserve the accuracy of dialogue and emotions I'll provide detailed instructions and guidelines to follow for the transcription process. You will also be supplied with reference materials to better understand the context of the dialogue. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in Romanian language - Experience in transcription - Attention to detail - Ability to understand and convey emotions accurately.

...a high-quality image of a medium-sized (5.5 inches by 5 inches) translucent silicone patch. The focus needs to be on capturing the necessary details so it can be successfully used and photoshopped for our ecommerce website. Key details: - Size of the object: 5.5" x 5" - The image should have a plain white background. - The image quality needs to be sufficient for usage on an ecommerce platform and enables further editing in Photoshop. Desired Skills: - Expertise in product photography - Experience with lighting techniques for translucent objects - Knowledge of photo editing, especially in Adobe Photoshop. Please include examples of product photography, particularly of similar items if possible. Photoshop experience is a plus. This project requires a q...

I'm looking for an engaging presentation on the correlation between work-life quality and maintaining a healthy life balance. The purpose of this presentation is to inform and educate students and educators, so it's essential that the content is clear and well-structured. Key Points: - The presentation should be created using either PowerPoint or Canva, with a creative and engaging style. - No use of AI is allowed in the presentation. - The importance of a healthy life balance in relation to work-life quality should be highlighted. - The presentation should be informative without being overly complex or academic. - The use of clear and relatable references is required to support the content. The ideal freelancer for this project should have: - Experience in crea...

I need a skilled SEO professional to help increase organic search traffic on my website. I am searching for an adept SEO specialist to help build high-quality backlinks for my website. This is a small initial project, but successful completion could lead to additional, larger-scale projects. Primary Responsibilities: * Develop white-hat SEO link-building strategies. * We need 100 high-quality backlinks sourced from authoritative websites. * Backlinks should come predominantly from websites in the 'IT support and web hosting sector. * Understand and ensure compliance with the most recent search engine algorithms. * Monitor and measure the effectiveness of your SEO strategies over time. Ideal Skill Set and Experience: * Proven track record in optimizing...

I'm in need of a Photoshop talent to recreate an image in order to improve its overall quality for high-resolution printing. Simple 5 min job - the banner has been created in PowerPoint - I will supply the PPT file has all the icons, texts, logos etc. and need you to re create a high quality version in Photoshop then covert to PDF. Needs to be able to be printed at A0 size at high quality and needs to be completed in the next 4 hours only message if you can meet the requirements and deadline!

I'm in need of a mobile application for school buses, aiming to provide real-time GPS tracking for parents and enhance the overall bus tracking experience. Key Features: - **Real-Time GPS Tracking**: This feature is crucial. It should be able to accurately display the location of the school bus on a map. Parents should be able to view the bus's whereabouts in real-time. - **Parent Notifications**: It's important that parents receive notifications when the bus is nearby or approaching their designated stop. These notifications should be timely and reliable. - **Multi-Bus Tracking**: The app should allow parents to track not just one, but multiple buses. This is especially helpful for parents with multiple children attending different schools or taking different bus...

Virtual Assistant to create quick Instagram and Facebook social creatives. Must work fast and high quality.

I'm currently working on a project related to 'Innovative ‘Blue’ Finance Mechanisms for enhancing the coastal tourism sector'. I require a PowerPoint presentation of high quality and professional standards. Key requirements: - The presentation must maintain a corporate and professional visual theme - Content should be moderately detailed with case studies to support the main points. 1. Objective Definition: Clearly define the purpose and objective of the session. Understand what you aim to achieve, whether it's educating the audience, promoting a project, discussing a technical topic, and/or brainstorming solutions collaboratively. 2. Audience Identification: Know your target audience. Tailor the content and presentation style to meet their inte...

In search of a seasoned app developer who can design and develop sophisticated mobile applications for both iOS and Android platforms. I am looking for: - Expertise in generating a modern, clean look for the app - Proven track record developing apps with integrated e-commerce functionality Your...Proficiency in creating stylish, modern app designs - Extensive experience in incorporating e-commerce features in apps - Conducting thorough testing and debugging to ensure optimal performance and user experience. - Good understanding of user-oriented design principles - Ability to work independently and manage your own schedule effectively - Attention to detail and a commitment to delivering high-quality results Let's create a high-performing, aesthetically pleasing mobile applic...

I'm seeking an experienced writ...WordPress theme plugins. These articles are aimed towards advanced users, so the content should reflect this. Here's what I need: - 100 unique articles, each focusing on a different WordPress theme plugin. - The purpose of these articles is to inform, so they need to be detailed and factual. - I have a specific list of Topics or WordPress theme plugins that I want covered. This list will be provided upon project commencement. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Extensive knowledge of WordPress, specifically with theme plugins. - Strong writing skills, with the ability to take complex, technical topics and make them easily understandable. - A solid track record in producing high-quality, informative articles. - Experience in wri...

start with a backend laravel project, with html frontend readed and admin dashboad template i will do it, create slowly and i learn it i cannot pay much.. i can work only usd 3 hours... using anydesk... so you can start your career in freelancer with my review 5 stars every usd 15 (every 5 hours ) as a single project...i learn it i cannot pay much.. i can work only usd 3 hours... using anydesk... so you can start your career in freelancer with my review 5 stars every usd 15 (every 5 hours ) as a single project .. in return of teach me in low budget Type 332 prove u read my message or else all rejected with out say hi to u this work is permenent, if you suddenly get a high salary job and disappear then please dont take this job sir, thanks using github as well work i...

Hey, I need someone to work on long term because I have many projects need to be done. Most of my projects are emergency Cars. All my cars need to be detailed but lowpoly (max. 600k), they need to have materials/texture and they need to be 1:1 realistic. All my cars need to have High Quality Interior and Exterior. Also the Person needs to be fast so I get my Order fast as possible and don’t need to pay unless money. In the picture down you can find picture from some Projects I need.

Hey, I need someone to work on long term because I have many projects need to be done. Most of my projects are emergency Cars. All my cars need to be detailed but lowpoly (max. 600k), they need to have materials/texture and they need to be 1:1 realistic. All my cars need to have High Quality Interior and Exterior. Also the Person needs to be fast so I get my Order fast as possible and don’t need to pay unless money. In the picture down you can find picture from some Projects I need. Price down is per project!

I'm currently looking for an individual or team proficient in picking and packing small electronic devices, such as lab pipettes from Lincoln, NE 68502 and ship it to Illinois 60010. The items are from university auction, you need to schedule the pickup during work hours, retrieve the items, packing up, and ship USPS. The final package size would be a medium flat-rate USPS Priority Mail box, total weight less than 2lbs. This is an one-time project. The ideal candidate/hire: - Should have some prior experience in the electronics field or with similar work. - Must exhibit careful handling to prevent any possible damage. - Ability to work with a high level of accuracy and speed. This job entails meticulousness and a keen attention to detail. If you have these skills, you'...

Hello! I need you to write 1 article for my Amazon client and post them on relevant news platforms. IMPORTANT**Please provide me with "the estimated duration of the project", and "examples of your past work",and "how many platforms will you post" for reference** Requirements: 1 article for product placement marketing about my Amazon clients' products.(and put the link to the product in your articles) [A new way to clean your pet's teeth] we can discuss and adjust the article if need these articles to at least 10 related news platforms/blogs in the US only. For example, post pet care articles to multiple USA pet care platforms. we can discuss and adjust the platform if need a report detailing which news platforms you...

Hello! I need you to write 1 article for my Amazon client and post them on relevant news platforms. IMPORTANT**Please provide me with "the estimated duration of the project", and "examples of your past work",and "how many platforms will you post" for reference** Requirements: 1 article for product placement marketing about my Amazon clients' products.(and put the link to the product in your articles) we can discuss and adjust the article if needed these articles to at least 10 related news platforms/blogs in the US only. For example, post pet care articles to multiple USA pet care platforms. we can discuss and adjust the platform if needed a report detailing which news platforms you posted to and which performed the best. us to quot...

I am in need of a professional who can significantly optimize a batch of pictures for my Instagram social media account. My primary requirements include: - Increasing the contrast of these images to accommodate Instagram's visual aesthetics. - Enhancing specific facial expressions in the photos and other minor brush-ups The ideal freelancer for this task should possess excellent photo editing abilities and have a keen eye for details. An in-depth understanding of how Instagram optimizes images would be a great advantage, though not mandatory. The overarching goal is to significantly increase the visual appeal of these images for my Instagram viewership. Please include work samples of similar jobs you've done before in your proposal.

I'm in need of a modern and professional-looking one-page WordPress site. The main goal of my website is to function as a platform for showcasing my services and products, not for direct online transactions. Wordpress / Design / Content / Form / Clean UX Please read the project description carefully!

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I'm looking for an experienced freelancer who is comfortable with Arabic language narration to work on an audiobook project. What you'll do: - Provide Arabic language narration for an audiobook. - Ensure all audio is of Podcast level quality, so experience in audio recording and sound editing is critically important. Required Skills and Experience: - Fluency in Arabic. - Proven experience in audiobook narration. - Excellent audio recording skills. - Ability to produce Podcast level sound quality in your recordings. Please submit a relevant portfolio or sample work. Happy biding!

Hi, I'm trying to update my workflow. I currently manage a lot of images, and I need to do the following: 1) Bulk scan and assess the images for quality. In the past I've used but this isn't the most accurate method. Sometimes it will miss images that are extremely pixelated and blurry, or filter out good images by mistake. I'm not sure if I should be using something like Amazon Rekognition, Google Cloud Vision, or Microsoft Azure instead? Or if I can save money and still get good results with a local option like OpenCV? I guess it depends on speed and accuracy. 2) I'd also like to be able to scan images in bulk and detect any text. Same question as far as whether or not

I someone to help create deepfake photos and short videos for me. We would do this on a weekly basis, so it is a continuous job and I would pay you per creation. Hopefully we can build a good relationship. It's nothing fancy, just about 10 seconds videos and photos. Looking forward to working with you.

I'm in need of an experienced medical research proposal writer who can help me in developing a comprehensive proposal focusing on quality assurance in computed tomography (CT) departments. This study aims to raise awareness and enhance quality assurance practices in CT centers. Key Areas to Address: - Patient Safety Protocols: Investigating and proposing improvements to the existing safety protocols within CT departments. - Equipment Calibration and Maintenance: Analyzing the current calibration and maintenance practices and suggesting better strategies for CT equipment. - Radiation Dose Optimization Techniques: Researching and providing new insights into radiation dose optimization methods. - Radiographers and Radiologists Awareness: Understanding the levels of...

I'm seeking a professional with expertise in backlink generation to boost our UK automotive site's search engine rankings. Key Points: - The p...completion is required ASAP. The ideal candidate should have a deep understanding of SEO and backlink strategies, especially in the UK market. Experience with the automotive industry is a plus. The backlinks should be of high quality, relevant to the industry, and ideally bring UK traffic to our site. Key Skills: - SEO expertise - Backlink generation experience - UK market knowledge - Automotive industry experience a plus Your strategy should not only bring quality backlinks but also help enhance our site's visibility on search engines, especially within the UK. Please include examples of previous projects...

I'm looking for someone to help increase my website traffic through high-quality backlinks. My target audience is based in Toronto, Canada and has an interest in window tinting. The primary goal of this backlinks project is to boost my website's SEO performance. Your work should focus on: - Getting relevant backlinks: These should come from sources related to window tinting and other fields that my target audience may find interesting. - Increasing my site's authority: The backlinks should be from reputable websites and not spammy sites. The ideal candidate for this project should be well-versed in SEO and link building. Prior experience in the window tinting industry would be a huge plus.

This is not a big project, do not bid higher you will be ignored.

...my friend. - Memories and Nostalgia: It should reminisce on the beautiful moments we've shared and the special memories we've made together. - Support and Encouragement: I'd like the letter to be a source of comfort and encouragement for my friend as they embark on this new chapter in their life. Specifically, I would like the letter to include: - Funny Memories: Our joyous moments and inside jokes that make us laugh. - Challenges We Overcame Together: The obstacles we tackled hand in hand, highlighting our resilience and friendship. - Personal Growth Moments: Times when we've supported each other's growth and stood by one another through thick and thin. I'm seeking a writer who can weave these elements together in a heartfelt and engaging way. Th...

I'm in need of a skilled video creator to help me produce engaging videos for my social media channels - YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook. Key Project Details: - **Purpose**: The videos have a dual purpose - marketing and promotion as well as entertainment. - **Length**: The video length is flexible - it can be short or long, depending on the content and platform. - **Graphics/Animations**: While the content is dynamic and engaging, I'm not looking for custom graphics or animations. Ideal Candidate: - **Experience**: A proven track record in creating social media content. - **Creativity**: Ability to generate engaging and innovative video concepts. - **Adaptability**: Comfortable with varying video lengths and adapting content to different platforms. - **Efficiency**: ...

...several tasks on a set of personal images. The primary goal is to enhance the quality and visual appeal of the pictures, ensuring they're ready for personal use. Key Tasks: - Background Removal: There are objects within the images that I'd like removed to create a cleaner, more focused look. - Retouching: I need the editor to touch up the images, enhancing their overall quality without making them look unrealistic. - Color Correction: The images need professional color correction to ensure they look vibrant and realistic without being over-saturated or washed out. The final images should be of high quality, meeting professional standards. They will be used for personal purposes, so attention to detail and quality is crucial. The idea...

I want you to help me create a calendar in Sigma, Please note: the Budget is 10 USD The calendar should look like this: Link I want it for "November 2024" Please note: the Budget is 10 USD Please take a look at the attached calendar because I want it to include: Monthly P&L ( like in the attached example) Number of weeks for the month. ( like in the attached example) Note: I want to delete red numbers or red days. Also, you have to add the amount of dollars like in the attached example Delivery, sigma link ****Please note:*** Please note: the Budget is 10 USD This budget is fixed. If you cannot accept the allocated funds for this task, kindly

...Proficient in identifying and reaching out to potential female customer base. * Expertise in utilizing effective channels such as social media and email. Expectations: * Deliver innovative, captivating marketing strategies. * Significant growth in online sales. * Tangible expansion of female customer base. If you are the marketing guru with a background in sarees or similar clothing lines, we need you. Make our brand the go-to name in online saree sales. Let's connect!...

I'm looking for a meticulous quality assurance expert to conduct careful testing on my website, which comprises approximately 35 pages. The website's primary purpose is to promote a product or service, needing specific focus on: - Functionality and Performance: I want the user journey to be seamless, without any glitches. It's crucial that you guarantee every link leads to the correct page. Also, test our site's search functionality for accuracy, relevancy, and speed. Confirm that all features are running smoothly and efficiently. - Content & Information Accuracy: Ensure all content, from page text to the captions, is free of spelling and grammatical errors. Also, verify that all information presented aligns with our product or service offering. Please...

I have a JPEG file of my logo that I need to be converted into a high-quality vector. This is for digital use adn to be used for making merchandise so it does need to be optimized for print. The deliverable should be an exact replica of the original logo, just in a vector format. The quality of the vectorization is crucial for this project. Key points: - Convert a JPEG logo to a high-quality vector - Ensure the vector is an exact replica of the original - The project is for digital use only, not print.

I'm in need of a skilled graphic designer who can create a high-quality CMYK .tiff file. The file should be 300 dpi and specifically tailored for print purposes. Key requirements include: - The .tiff file should be easily scalable to any size without loss of quality - Color mode must be CMYK as it is intended for print - The resolution must be 300 dpi - It needs to be in the .tiff format Ideal candidates should have: - Proficiency in graphic design and experience working with .tiff files - Strong knowledge of color modes and resolution settings for print - Experience with scalability of images without losing quality If you’re confident in your graphic design skills and can deliver a high-quality .tiff file that meets the outlined specifica...

More details: Is this project for business or personal use? This question was skipped by the user What information should successful freelancers include in their application? Past work How soon do you need your project completed? ASAP

I'm in need of a knowledgeable SEO specialist to help build robust backlinks to my mental health website. Key tasks: - Establish high-quality backlinks with reputable websites in the medical and health sector. - The backlinks should primarily target audiences interested in mental illnesses encompassing insomnia, anxiety disorder, dysphoria, and PTSD. Ideal Skills: - Proven SEO and backlink building experience - Proficient in identifying and targeting reputable health-related sites - Familiarity or experience with mental health topics is advantageous - Strong project management skills to handle the strategy, creation, execution, and monitoring of backlink campaigns. Your main goal is not only to increase website traffic but also to improve search engine rankings ...

I'm seeking a 3D rendering expert to create stunning, high-detail, modern renders of the furniture I design with SketchUp. Your work will bring these designs to life with professional, lifelike visualizations that emphasize the modern aesthetic. The ideal freelancer for this project should possess: - Profound ability in creating high-level, realistic 3D renders. - In-depth proficiency with preferred rendering software. - Excellent understanding of lighting, texture, and materials specifically for furniture designs. - Proven experience in rendering modern furniture designs. - Strong ability to follow instructions and accurately translate the provided SketchUp designs into renders. Expect this project to demand a high degree of attention to detail to enhance and highlight the unique...

I need an image expert to ensure that images I provide are adapted and formatted correctly for a programmable LED sphere. - The primary use of the LED sphere is for art installations. Therefore, the images need to be converted in a way that they are suitable for this purpose. - The content format I prefer for the LED sphere is a seamless spliced video. You will be required to convert the images into a format that is suitable for this type of content. Ideal skills include: - Experience with LED technology and its requirements for image display - Proficient in image conversion and adaptation for unique displays something similar to this video

I am in need of a skilled architect to create detailed architectural plans for a new construction project. The plans will be for a building designed in a traditional style second dwelling (granny flat) Key Requirements: - Expertise in architectural design Rough sketch attached from memory Lockyer Valley council said it needs to be under 100 sq mtr. Then directed us to find a private certifier It's important that the final plans are ready for submission to relevant authorities to obtain building permits.

Quality Google ads service for long term

I need to promote my website in China without specifying social media

I require the attached logo to be redrawn in a high image quality. I need two versions black on white and white on black. I need the two versions saved in AI, EPS, High RES PDF, High RES JPG and PNG