submitting poetry to chapbook contests for me

I'm rather busy and seek someone who KNOWS THE POETRY WORLD to submit some of my poems to journals and contests. It's ESSENTIAL you know the poetry world - who is looking for what - so that you can my stuff to the BEST matches possible. My poetry tends to have a humorous flavor, but you can decide for yourself. I'd like to start with a 33 pg chapbook to a chapbook contest that would judge sooner than later. Please don't bid unless you Know the poetry landscape. I'd rather have no bids than work with someone who isn't sure. Attached are some samples of my stuff. Maybe not the best, but samples just the same. I'd be pleased to pay $30 for you to submit 3 long poems of mine to 3 different chapbook contests (of course I'll pay the contest fees). Please match the contests with the lengths and tone of my poems. If you're successful, I'd be pleased to use you again. Thanks for reading.