Small funny texts

I need someone who can write small funny texts for me. The text should be used for invitaions and should be in english. The text is going to be spoken by a profesional speaker. It is a litlle bit difficult to explain, so I will give an example: Wild west theme Invitation: ------------------------- Hallo Cowboys and Cowgirls You have been invited to a wildwest party So I hope you got your dancing shoes, because its gonna be a party you wont forget Well..... offcourse we gonna have some bull riding, some square dance and some goooooood eating and drinking. Here on this page you can see the details of the event, and you can sign up for this great evening. Make sure to let us know if you are going to attend our event. We hope to see all of you there. So long partner. --------------------------- Ok this was very simple, but this was my suggestion and I need yours. I need texts for these themes: Honolulu/Hawai party Oscar night Gallanight Haloween theme Las vegas / gambler theme Studio 54 Disco night Mardi gras Carnival Rio de janero Cocktail party Western / wild west Birthday Pirates of the carebean James Bond Oktoberfest General Party/event You are welcome to add your own categories. Have you got any ideas or can you help me in any way? Hoping that someone can help me out there. (i need someone from the US or UK)