Edit Paragraph, Simplifying Sentences for Easier Read
- Status: Pending
- Prize: $10
- Entries Received: 5
- Winner: nietoaileen
Contest Brief
I have an opening paragraph from a letter of recommendation. It needs to be re-written (slightly) so that it is easier to read without losing meaning of original message. Right now it seems a bit technical at times.
Only sentences 3-5 need help. Opening and ending sentences are fine, and should only be modified if changes to 3-5 warrant it.
Superb English skills required. Creative writing skills will help. Task must be completed within 30 minutes of bid.
Here's the paragraph:
Interviewing [Student's Name] for medical school admission I remember my appreciation for this young man. He was not the typical pre-med student. [Student's Name] has attended Yeshiva, a rigorous institutional training program requiring intense commitment and hours of bilingual literature study daily alongside community internships. After completing his training, [Student's Name] worked his way through college pursuing his passion to become a physician. He successfully managed to bridge the intermission between these two distinct academic methods, each requiring a unique set of capabilities in their study. Despite receiving secular education later than most his peers, his determination earned him a Bachelor of Science in biology with high distinction. Here was a determined and excited young man, recognizing the long and challenging road ahead of him, but willing and welcoming these challenges. This is a truly self-made man whose qualities shined throughout medical school years; motivated, self-directed, driven, yet humble and willing to learn and overcome any obstacle in his way.
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